Mike Mackin (By Diamond Dez)

Mike is the middle brother of three and the similarities between them is striking, people are always getting them mixed up. I'm not sure who's the ugliest, but it's a close call.

Mike is one of the most energetic drummers out there. He can hit those things. He's not all about power though he's got real rhythm and good ear when comes to working on new songs. Mike and Dave do tend to have the occasional disagreement but it's usually nothing serious and before long everything settles down. They both blame each other for the other's thoughtlessness but they're as bad as each other.

Just like his older brother Dave, Mike plays more than one instrument, including the guitar and the trombone. He's only once played his trombone at one of our gigs and that was outside in the Stapylton Arms car park. The gig was part of Queens Golden Jubilee celebrations and we were asked by Shaun the Landlord to play God Save the Queen. Despite being extremely patriotic, that particular tune is not one we are familiar with. None the less Mike and Dave locked themselves in the Pig Mobile and began to practise, Dave on his Trumpet and Mike on his Trombone.

I was completely unaware of what they were up to a first but soon realised, by the not so dulcet tones that echoed from the van that they were preparing for a public performance.

I took this opportunity to mix with the audience and drink another pint on what was a beautiful weekend. I'd almost forgotten what they were up to when van doors swung open and out they came. This is going to memorable I thought and made my way to the front for a good view. After a few minutes of adjusting their microphones to the right height and volume they began.

Now Mike in his defence is a keen Jazz fan, I don't particularly care for it myself but each to their own. Jazz musicians do tend to drift from the main melody and play around with the tune but this was something else. Dave stayed true to the traditional version of our National Anthem but Mike chose to play a quite unique rendition, which bared no resemblance to the 300-year-old original. I'm not sure which particular musical scale Mike had based his interpretation on, but to the untrained ear it sounded almost like he was playing all the wrong notes. Never the less they were in the right order.

The following day Mike took his trombone to a nearby car boot sale. There were no takers, probably because he insisted on giving a demonstration to prove that it was in full working order when he first arrived.

If anyone is interested in purchasing the offending instrument I'm sure he'll consider any offers.